Capcom likes disappointing me.

Dead Rising 2 has just been announced, and as an avid fan of zombie killing in all its forms I'm pretty happy about this, but I have to admit something. I didn't like the first one. This seems to shock the rest of Internet where the game is almost universally praised from what I've read. And I'm not saying I just hated Otis because he would call me on that damn radio every thirty seconds. I didn't like the game. At all.

First of all there is a time limit. People who decry the time limit on this game get a lot of flak. Everybody points out it is a survival game like that somehow justifies putting a limit on the time you're allowed to spend in Capcom's playground of zombie killing. Resident Evil games always had time limits, but they were optional. You tried for the speed run because it gave you a rocket launcher with infinite ammo. You weren't punished for not being fast enough.

Otis, and his endless updates about the people I should rescue only exacerbates the time limit problem. Having some jerk constantly nattering in my ear about how I need to hurry isn't my idea of a good time. Actually without this idiot it is entirely likely the time limit wouldn't have bothered me.

The minibosses. Oh how I hated the completely irrelevant miniboss fights. I came to this game to have a good time by slaughtering my way through hordes of zombies. What I got instead was Otis telling me to get over to the food court, and somehow a group of convicts had a jeep with a .50 cal machine gun in the indoor park area of the mall. At the time I was armed with a tire iron, and maybe a pistol. The fight wouldn't have bothered me nearly as much if I hadn't been asking myself the entire time, "What the fuck are these assholes doing here?" How did they even get that jeep in the mall? Why the hell do they respawn?

Once I get to the food court I get into a gun battle with a mariachi who has a P-90, and an infinite supply of grenades. I talked to this asshole shortly before entering the mall. Why has he suddenly gone homicidal? I thought this was a zombie game. Why am I constantly coming up against nonsensical minibosses that aren't zombies?

While I'm harping on Capcom's zombie franchises I might as well admit I also disliked Resident Evil 4. The old Resident Evil formula had been played out by the time I finished Code Veronica on the Dreamcast, and I never bothered to complete Resident Evil Zero, or the remake of the first game that were both on the Gamecube. By that time I had realize the game was more about inventory management than zombies, and had enough. So the change in gameplay with Resident Evil 4 seemed liked a good thing to me until I discovered I still couldn't move, and shoot at the same time.

In previous Resident Evil titles having to stand still to shoot was fine. It added tension to hope you gunned down the slow moving zombies before they got close enough to snack on you. There was also an auto-aim feature that simply meant you had to fire fast enough, and have enough bullets to survive. When RE4 went to an over the shoulder viewpoint, and nixed the auto-aiming not being able to move while firing felt like Leon Kennedy was made of stone. Just being able to slowly back up while firing would have made the game bearable, but once your gun comes up Leon is rooted to the spot.

I probably could have gotten used to that, but the game also had more quick time events than you could shake an angry zombie dog at. I loathe quick time events, especially the kind that require you to mash a single button repeatedly like you're the Flash with autism. The game had controls for running already, but when the Spanish peasants decide to roll a boulder my way I suddenly have to break my controller, or my thumb by madly pressing a button repeatedly. Why? During the totally badass knife fight the clunky controls of the game obviously weren't up to the task of controlling Leon's movements so hitting random buttons at the right prompt takes over, and if you miss once you're dead. Trial and error wasn't fun in Dragon's Lair, and it isn't fun now. Some games can do QTE's well. In God of War missing your cue doesn't mean instant death, and restarting from your last save. In Resident Evil you're aren't so lucky.

I hope Dead Rising 2 will improve upon the original, and eliminate some of the more annoying gameplay aspects, but since Resident Evil 5 is basically a reskin of Resident Evil 4 with cooperative play thrown in I'm not holding my breath.